Can I just crawl under a rock?

There's an airline commercial where someone does something stupid, and then the announcer says, "want to get away?"  There's a candy commercial, pretty much the same thing, except the person just starts shoving candy in his/her mouth.  So I guess almost everyone finds themselves in this situation at least once.

Do you ever feel like everything you do is wrong?  Even with the best of intentions, it just goes wrong.  Someone then blames you, or corrects you, or feels the need to put you in your place.
I think the worst part of it is that I want to explain, or just defend myself without sounding childish or angry.  I just want to say, hey, this is what I did, I apologize if it was not what you wanted, I had the best intentions.

Many times at that moment, I am at a loss for words.  I know how I feel, but then I can't express it in words. Sometimes I would like to be snarky, but my personality doesn't bend the snarky direction in those cases, and I am not a quick wit. I find myself telling off the mirror a day later. Am I too tender?  Sure.  Do I need to man up?  Probably.  That doesn't make the feelings any less real.

In the movie, "You've Got Mail,"  Meg Ryan's character runs into this problem.  Tom Hanks' character writes, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass all my zingers to you?  And then I would never behave badly, and you could behave badly, and we'd both be happy.  But then on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say that the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows."

I don't know which is worse, saying the thing you want to say when you mean to say it, and then having remorse, or not saying it, feeling angry, or empty, or powerless, and then feeling like a dog with its tail between its legs.  In this winnerless battle, the person speaking, has most likely moved on, and I'm usually stuck with an unresolved issue, suppress my ucky feelings, get sick to my stomach and want to crawl under a rock.

If this is not you, allow me to explain for those of us who do feel this way.  The inability to defend ourselves or confront the situation leaves us feeling powerless and emasculated - if a woman can be that.  We feel sad that our gesture was seen in the wrong light.  We feel angry that we were seen as the "bad" person who required correction.  Our pride is hurt, and our desire to do anything nice for you ever again is illogically removed.

The point of the issue, accidents do happen, despite how splendid the intent.   People have different perspectives, and not see the beauty in the intent.  Simply, I may call the color "burnt orange" and someone else might call it "rust"  are we both wrong?  Not necessarily, our perspective is different.  What if I had a color chart, and we could look up to see really what color it is?  Then we would know.  That's the problem, because our perspectives are different, and there is no chart for "what I meant to do" or "what I meant to say" or "you've taken this the wrong way" ....

I guess its a part of life.  How it affects you depends on which side of the situation you are on.  I wish I had an answer that could make all of this instances go away, or remedy themselves, but I don't.  If you do, I would love to hear from you.

Psalm 139 starts, "Search me, O God, and know my heart..."  I like it better this way:

Lord, you have examined me.
    You know me.
2 You know when I sit down and when I stand up.
    Even from far away, you comprehend my plans.
3 You study my traveling and resting.
    You are thoroughly familiar with all my ways.
4 There isn’t a word on my tongue, Lord,
    that you don’t already know completely.
5 You surround me—front and back.

K