Emotions - It IS Your Choice

Do you feel guilty?  Do you feel angry?  Do you blame that person?  Well I do.

We've all heard the statement, “no one can make you feel some way – you make the choice.”  the fact is, this statement is very TRUE.

   

"If she wouldn't have done that, I wouldn't have blown it."   Or,  "he made me so mad when he…."   Or,  "It's his fault for making my life miserable."

Those are all unhealthy statements.   Only YOU can make yourself feel a certain way.  Yes, there are those who enjoy manipulating the situation to trigger your feelings, but you choose.  What else you choose is to hold on to it or to let it go.

If you truly know me, you know that I really am not out to offend anyone or cause any problems.  Yet, I often feel guilty.  I make myself feel guilty.  I concern myself about feeling guilty.  I require myself to feel guilty.  I have felt guilty so long that when I don’t feel guilty I miss the feeling, so I think of something I did when I was 16 years old so that I can feel guilty. 

 

I am learning to not feel guilty.  I am learning that I am not responsible for the feelings of anyone else other than myself.  If I blow it, I am learning remorse (not hold on to guilt), I apologize (hopefully I can), and then I go on with my life (hopefully I put it behind me).  When I start to feel guilty or lament in my behavior, I have to catch myself and tell myself this feeling is not necessary.  I am not going to feel guilty anymore - not about things I can control, and especially things I can’t.

What’s yours?  Anger?  Blame?  Self pitty?  We all have a crutch.   We become angry, then we blame, then we live in self pitty, or guilt. 

“My husband made me so angry!”  No, you chose.  You chose to become angry.  He may have done something really bad, but you choose your feeling.  You can choose to become angry.  What you do with it then becomes the proof in the pudding.   If you forgive and go on, then you’re doing what the Bible says, “do not let the sun go down on your wrath.”

God became angry, check the old testament.  God created us to become angry.  God also forgives.  God created us to forgive.  God also created us to calm ourselves.  He gave us reasoning to let things go.  He gave us the brain power to think through the situation.

Why is it that boys can have a fight on Tuesday and go back to being friends on Wednesday, but girls drag things out, make it last as long as possible, and pull as many people into the situation as possible?  Why is that?  I do not know.  What I do know is that we have a choice.   Some react quickly in anger, and dispense their anger hormone, and go on with life.  While others become angry, and its like that anger hormone stirs until it boils, and then look out.

Do you blow up and then off?  Or do you simmer until you boil over?  Once you’ve reached your boiling or blowing point – how do you react?   Both reactions can cause damage, and have collateral damage.  It is your decision which and what is going to happen. 

God gave us the ability to think things through -

Proverbs 16:1
The plans of the mind and orderly thinking belong to man, but from the Lord comes the wise answer of the tongue.

Proverbs 5:2

That you may exercise proper discrimination and discretion and your lips may guard and keep knowledge and the wise answer.

I Peter 1:13

Therefore, get your minds ready for action by being fully sober, and set your hope completely on the grace that will be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed. Like obedient children, do not comply with the evil urges you used to follow in your ignorance, but, like the Holy One who called you.