These Are The Days

Do you remember - I think it was a perfume commercial where this beautiful family is having this marvelous time at the beach, and there's all kinds of white linen and a child whispers "these are the days" ?   That image just comes to mind.

I find myself more and more not remembering things I thought I would never forget.  The boys asked me the  other day, "which one of us was afraid of the car wash?"  I couldn't remember.  After pondering the question, I recalled Jarrod sitting in his car seat in the back of my specific car whining about the car wash.

Today I wondered if I would remember what it was like when Ethan was shorter than me.  He will never be this height again, tomorrow he will have grown a centimeter or so and our lives will continue to change.   I'm a very inconsistent journal person.  In fact, Jarrod's baby book stops when I became pregnant with Ethan, and don't even ask to look at Ethan's baby book, its embarrassing.

In a world where we are constantly seeking change, there are times that I long for things to stay the same.  Oh to remember what they smelled like before puberty.   To recall what it felt like to them, or how small their hands were.   Will I continue to remember?

We want things to progress - for that is the very word, Progress - we want things to move along and change for the better, but at what cost?  Jarrod is driving.  I didn't realize what a profound statement that was until I experienced that rite of passage with him.  The price I pay for that rite of passage?  He will continue to gain more and more independence - which is good!  But he won't need me as much anymore.

Tonight, as I was visited by my old friend, Insomnia, I took a moment to crawl in to bed with my giant, Ethan.  I can't hold him anymore, he crushes me.  As we laid there, him half asleep, I thanked him for his help today, and congratulated him on what a good job he had done.   I so longed for him to say, "sing me to sleep mommy."   But I doubt I'll ever hear those words again.   I now progress to the new phrases like, "did my package arrive", "have you seen my car keys", and "what time do I have to be home?"

Sweet words still come, Jarrod thanked me the other day for allowing him to have "a childhood that didn't suck."   I am so glad that he can see the sacrifices that we made to show our love for him and put his welfare first.  He said he was glad that he had a "happy childhood".  Apparently he thinks his childhood is over.

These are the days, the moments, that you think you will never forget, and in an instant, they are gone.  Are you relishing in the moments, or are you pushing through and missing the little things that you will never get back?

When we sell our house (hopefully soon) and move to a different location in Riverside, my boys will look back on their time at the house on Sycamore Hill with all kinds of fondness.  There will be stories about swimming on Thanksgiving, and launching Spiderman out of the bedroom window that now requires the screen to be replaced.  The creepy stories of the snake that escaped, and the bats that flew through.  Lord, we will never for get Oreo getting skunked.

I'm so grateful to God for the moments I have had.   I am thankful for the moments to come.   May I never forget to enjoy each one, because it will be the one and only time in our lives to make that specific memory.

Thank you God, for your gifts, help me not to ever take them for granted.

K