Think Before You Do (Cocoon 2)

Over a week in to my "cocoon" - doing my best to mind my own business, and take care of MY business instead of rushing to do someone else's.   Wow, I was bored.   I had watched every TV evangelist that I liked, some of  them up to 3 times with the same sermon.   I had searched scriptures, I had watched benign movies, and kept up with the news ..... my body felt like it had been hit by a truck, so my great ideas of exercise, unpacking boxes, rearranging cabinets all fell to the way side.

I think its going to take more than a month for me to really grasp what God is saying to me.  Let's be honest, I'm not searching like I should be.  I'm not desperate.  That song, "I'm desperate for you...." well if I was really desperate, I would be on my knees searching the scriptures and being still before God.   I haven't done that.  My cocooning is half baked.  The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Watching these spiritual TV programs has brought interesting thoughts to mind, maybe I'm supposed to put some sermons together and take some Wednesday nights.  Maybe I'm just supposed to "find myself", one thing I know I'm not doing is minding my own business.   I have taken every opportunity that was presented to insert my nose into someone else's deal.  

I'm a fixer.
I want to help.
I want to rescue.
I want to contribute.
I want to control.

After all, "it would be so easy ..."


I took that attitude the other day.  Jeff and I were discussing what we thought was a need at church, I said, "I can do that, fast, I've done it before ..."   Well, I have a different computer than I had when I used to do "that", and didn't have the program on this new computer.   After I spent about an hour looking for the program on my computer, and looking for the program on line that I could down load, I was frustrated.  I had to wait for Jarrod to come home and download the program on to my computer.  That was Friday night.

I spent Saturday getting my "thing" ready to go.   I had all of the pictures, I had the clip art, I had a story board, I had my arsenal full - I was ready.   I realized that the program was the same program, but an updated version - marvelous, I thought, this is going to be even easier.  My first draft was done, I was going to "run" it - my computer froze.  JARROD!  "Did you save it?"  He asked.   Uh, no, it has auto save - not for those last finishing touches that I lost.   The first thing I did after the computer "thawed" was save it.  The second time I had poured more time, energy, thought into my project, the second draft was ready to go, half way through the re-play, it froze.   Oh dear Lord, really?   After fiddling with the computer for over another hour - it refused to play.  I had spent 3 hours of my Saturday on something that would never produce any fruit - and I was so frustrated I needed ice cream!

When making a big decision, I always pray, "God, if this is not your will, then slam the door shut in my face..."   It took 3 slams, but I figured it out.  What I was doing was NOT what God had called me to do.  It was ME, after all, it would just take about an hour, it would be fun to do, and it would be helpful to others.   It wasn't what God called me to do, so it didn't work.    I made a comment that sometimes I didn't like God's sense of humor - God didn't shut me down, he just didn't prosper me in that situation.   I'm the one that prays "shut the door", if He had anything to do with the computer freezing, it was my own fault.  (Theological discussion could go on for days for that one sentence)

Genesis 39 talks about Joseph - God was with him to make him prosper... "the Lord was with him and saw to it that in everything he did he found favor".   Just a few more verses down, Joseph gets thrown into jail for a crime he didn't commit.  Now in jail, God gave him favor, and the chapter concludes how it started, "the Lord was with him and gave him success in whatever he did."

I believe that God will prosper us in whatever we do - even if its not exactly what He called us to do.  I could have finished that project, but it would have taken every ounce of peace I have stored up, it would have taken time that I should take to focus on my family.   It would have been nice, but it would have been a LABOR of love.   Did you get the word - LABOR?

I've been doing a lot of LABORS of love lately.  Maybe the reason its such a LABOR is because I'm really not supposed to be doing it.   God will prosper me, but what should I be doing instead?  If I'm truly in God's will, will it be such a LABOR?  I love the Amplified version of  Matthew 11:30, "For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good - not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne."

Sometimes what God calls us to do in the natural is hard - I'm sure being in jail for Joseph was hard, but God turned it around for him and gave him the favor and strength to bear it.   In the instance of my project, it wasn't what God was asking me to do, otherwise it would have been easy.  When  I was relying on ME, not God.  I didn't ask God, "should I do this?"  I just stuck my nose in someone else's business, and lost the peace I had been enjoying.

As I sat down to write this, it came easy.  I haven't written sooner because it hasn't been easy.  I guess today is my day to write.  I hope what I shared with you will make you THINK before you DO.   Ask, "Is God really wanting me to do this?"   Is His yoke easy to where this will flow right out of me, or is His burden light where even though it is a task, He will give me the strength?  If the answer is no to either of those questions, then, no, I don't think God is asking you to do that.

God didn't ask me to do that project.   I forgot to ask before I wrote.   Sorry, God, help me to practice what I preach.

K