When Will It Be Enough?

You can't please everyone all of the time is a common statement.  I am one of those people who tries to please as many people as possible, as many times as possible.

If you are like me, it feels like, no matter how hard I try, I fail, and fail miserably.  What do I determine as failure?   What I think I "should" have done, what I "could" have done better, what I think others might have wanted from me.

 I allow others' opinions or what I imagine others' opinions might be to rule my mind.   I find myself second guessing, wondering, and guessing sadly ruling my life.  I dwell on what I think others want me to do.  I make up my mind that someone might be angry or disappointed with me.

You know I love lines from movies, "I've had her up on that pedestal for so long, well since I put her up there ..."    We have a tendency to put people on pedestals above us and put blinders on to their mistakes.  Our goal seems to be to please people, constantly do favors, put yourself out for someone else, being there when no one else is.

Why isn't the feeling of a job well done enough?  We then realize that we have not achieved the feeling, the high, the esteem we wanted for our efforts.  Often times feeling we did not do enough, or looking for gratification  for a good job can be signs of a poor self esteem.   Poor self esteem leads to more self deprecation and then sadness, and depression.  If you allow yourself to be treated poorly, apparently you think poorly of yourself.

When will it be enough to please that picky boss?  When will it be enough to have your mother-in-law like you?  When will it be enough to have people around you say they appreciate you?  When will it be enough to make you feel fulfilled for more than one day?  It will never be enough.

Your picky boss may not ever be pleased.  Your mother-in-law may never like you.   You may never hear the words "good job" from your immediate family.  You may only receive a simple "thank you", and then be dismissed by the person you have almost killed yourself to please.

Is my tone a little too heavy?  Well, yes, but its what we do to ourselves.  It will never be enough. Will it ever be enough for you to say, "Wow, me!  Great job!  Thanks!  You Rock!"  and move on with your life?   Not if you are like me.  I usually say, "Wow, me, I should have done ____ ... Even though it turned out great it could have been better; If only I would have remembered ...."

If it will never be enough to please yourself, how can you expect it to be enough to please someone else?   STOP IT!  Take others off the pedestals.  Take your failures off of the pedestals.  Take your perceived short-comings off of the pedestals.  Take your need for "ata boys" off of the pedestal!

As Christians, we accept the forgiveness that Jesus provided for us on the cross, but we don't forgive ourselves.  Jesus was crucified once, why do you need to crucify yourself daily?  Where is the acceptance of forgiveness for yourself?  Don't confuse this with the "I die daily" that the Apostle Paul (I Corinthians 15) was talking about.  This is a lack of forgiveness for yourself from you.

Who is on your pedestal?  Is it God?  Is it you?  Is it someone else?  Are you putting someone else's opinion of you above God's opinion?  Are you putting your opinion of you above God's opinion of you?  Are you looking for the "approval of princes" (Proverbs 29) instead of allowing God to satisfy you?

I am.  I am guilty.  I tend to follow the high.  I get a high from helping people, and then I get higher from helping someone else, and then I feel love, appreciation, as though I am more accomplished, more adequate, and a better person.  I am guilty of the title "human doing" rather than a "human being."  You will never achieve what you are looking for by the acts of "doing".  What you are looking for is a fulfillment, a peace, a confidence that only comes from God, and He made you to be a "human being."

So relax.  Get the fulfillment, peace and confidence you are looking for by relying on God.  There's an old song, "Only Jesus can satisfy your soul.  Yes, only He can change your heart and make you whole.  He'll give you peace you never knew, sweet joy and love and heaven too.  For only Jesus can satisfy your soul."
(Lanny Wolf)

I'm not exactly sure how to stop looking for "enough", because it will never be "enough" until you learn that you are "enough", your value is "enough", your worth "your smile is "enough", you are competent "enough".  You are able to be loved, you are deserving of acceptance, you are beautiful, you are enough.   The only way to find "enough" in your life is to accept what God thinks of you.  That should be enough.

K
(By the way, my boss and my mother-in-law love me)